Develop a Growth Mindset

If there’s one thing I could teach people, that would be to develop a growth mindset. It helps you learn and make progress faster in your life, and achieve things you never thought possible.

In this video I’ll explain exactly what the growth mindset is, and how it can help you be a more successful dater.

To have a growth mindset you must truly believe two things:

  1. Everything is a skill, and you can become better at anything if you work at it.
  2. You will fail, and you must learn to see failure as a positive step on the route to success

Let me give you a concrete example.

If you’d met me 15 years ago, I would have told you that I was just one of those guys who was destined never to have a girlfriend. I wasn’t good looking enough, I didn’t have enough money, I wasn’t interesting, and that’s just the way it was going to be for life.

One day in my frustrated state I turned to the internet for help, and I found a little ebook by some random guy I’d never heard of, and it was about how to become more confident in order to attract women.

I bought this thing for about $50, and read it from cover to cover in one sitting. I was riveted. This book was telling me that I wasn’t the only one in this situation, that I COULD change, and most importantly, it gave me hope.

And that was the start of it all. Having read that book the belief I’d held for so long that I was never going to get a girlfriend started to crumble. I’d learned step one of the growth mindset. I now believed that this WAS something I could become better at if I put the work in.

Which led me on to the second step of the growth mindset. I put the techniques in the book into practise, but I sucked. I really did. And most of the time I failed. I didn’t get the outcome I wanted. But that didn’t matter.

My belief in the process, and that one day I would be great at this overcame the negative feelings of fear. I began to embrace failure, because only by failing do you really know where the edges of what is possible are.

Look at Lewis Hamilton. He’s won a lot of Formula 1 races in his time. But he’s also crashed the car multiple times too. And so he should have!

There is no way he would have been able to have got the absolute best performance out of the car without pushing it to its absolute limits. And the only way he would have know what those limits were would be to approach them and exceed them, and crashing. Then the next time he’d be aware of how far he could push things without crashing.

If you want to improve your dating life, you have to be willing to crash a few times. You’ll go on dates where you make a fool of yourself. You’ll go on dates where he or she doesn’t laugh at your jokes. You’ll go on dates where he or she’ll think you are a creep.

But those experiences are important steps along the path to success.

So get out there. Know that you can become a better dater if you put the work in and learn to embrace failure and use it to propel you to success. That’s the growth mindset.

Until next time, take care.

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