Who Should Pay on the First Date?

Who should pay for the first date?

Oh man this is a big topic which always touches some nerves and debate when brought up in conversation.

Let be clear first of all, the answer to this question will vary depending upon the situation you are in, and who you are dating, but here are some things to consider.

Guys, you should pay.

But wait up, before the women start cheering and the men groan, listen to the rest of the video.

In my humble opinion, a first date should not involve anything which is going to cost a lot of money. I suggest a round or two of drinks at a bar. As a guy, I go to the bar to get the first round and pay whilst I’m there. This shows your date you are polite, take the lead and have financial resources.

However, ladies, you’re not off the hook yet.

If we decide on another round of drinks, you should offer to pay. At this point guys you can accept the offer or not. Personally it depends on the woman I’m with. If she is younger and maybe not financially well off I will pay, but if she’s older and has a good job, I’ll allow her to pay.


Because I don’t want to feel like I’m having to pay for a women to spend time with me. That’s not how dating should be. Both parties should be considered equal.

Expectations much?

One women recently told me she expects the guy to pay because she is always better at listening to them and keeping the conversation going, and therefore they should be paying her for that.

I do not subscribe to that AT ALL.

If I want to pay to talk to someone I’ll book a session with a therapist.

If you believe you are better in some way than the person you are dating and are above them, the whole dynamic is wrong. You are both human beings and therefore equal, no matter what.

Exceptions to the rule

Guys, if you want to take someone on an incredibly expensive and lavish date then be my guest, but don’t expect her to pay.

Some people believe that if a woman offers to pay it indicates she won’t want to see you again, and is doing it out of pity. Some may, but I don’t think this happens often enough for it to be a rule.

Suck it up, guys

Finally, guys you are going to spend more money on women than they spend on you when dating. That’s a fact of life, so suck it up. Like I say, keep the dates short and don’t go for expensive meals to keep the costs down.

After the first date I personally like to take it in turns to pay. So if I organise an activity I’ll book and pay for that, then on the date she can buy drinks or food of a similar value. And from then on everything is kept equal.

Red flag alert

If a man or woman doesn’t ever pay their way and is always looking for a way out of paying, I’d see that as a red flag and stop dating them!

Even if you don’t agree with my thoughts on who should page on the first date, I have one more thing to share. If you have differing ideas on who should pay, you probably weren’t right for one another anyway.

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